Mornings bring safety and sanity. You are clean one more day. No one every woke up in the morning after a night of refreshing sleep and said, “I wish I had used drugs last night.” Of course not. In the morning, at the beginning of a fresh new day, that seems crazy.
Imagine the feeling of sickness that comes with staying up all night, getting high. You know you wouldn’t be thinking now of how great the high was last night. Remembering the high from last night, last year or ten years ago is no different. Your brain was in a different state. You can’t really enjoy the memory of a drug high.
What you can remember is how it always ends the same.
It ends in sickness and regret. Degradation and embarrassment. Shame. Getting high one more time is never a good idea. You already know that it never ends well.
The morning is a place of safety when you are in the early days of getting clean.
It is an easy place to be grateful. You are awake and alive for another day. There is the possibility for great things to happen. Good things that can only come when you are clean from drugs.
At first, it is a struggle.
The thoughts of going back to using drugs are powerful. They use your own best thinking against you. Being alone at night is especially difficult. Yet, if you can just make it through, you have something to look forward to in a few short hours that is better than any high. You have another beautiful morning. One more day clean.
Gradually, struggle turns to vigilance.
You don’t have to struggle so hard to stay clean. But, you do always have to be aware to not fall for temptation. You have to be aware of what triggers you. What leads you back to making that one little mistake that ruins everything.
Awareness and memory, mindfulness, thoughtfulness.
Helping others to get to where you are helps you to stay safe and stay clean. Write down what you are grateful for in the morning. Read it in the evening. Share with others how you survived and made it to one more beautiful morning.